Wednesday with Words: Nouwen and Staying Home

A while back I re-read Parker J. Palmer's book I only picked it up because on the back was a recommendation by Henri Nouwen.  I have thought about how Nouwen's experience - going from being a professor and well regarded theologian to working with the mentally disabled - is similar to many stay at home mom's experience.  Nouwen was well respected in his field and honored but he constantly writes about how working with those in an institution is all about being in that moment, being kind and gracious - they don't care what your degree or background is.  Honestly, that is what makes being a mom humbling and difficult.  I can handle a professional situation, make a great presentation, be an "adult" but my kids don't really care about that.  They care about spending time, enjoying each other, being in the moment - that's a bit tougher for me.  This clashes against where many of us have placed our value for so long.  I think this is one reason I appreciate his work is because of his deep humility.

A few weeks ago I was rummaging through the local library's books for sale.  I am pretty sure a pastor had recently dropped off his library because of the type of books that were available.  What caught my eye was a book of the hours using sections of Henri Nouwen's writing.  Fascinating.  It has about 6 short readings that are spread throughout the day.  The idea is that you can read words to remind you about who you are, who God is and what you should be about on a regular basis.  I just started with the new month.  WOW - it is going to be good.  I don't always read it "on the hour" but am trying to at least read it each day.

Yesterday's Vesper passage was what I needed to hear.  I have been called the "least stay - at - home" mom by close friends.  However, after 10 years I am realizing that I might have missed the boat in my ridiculous running around. :

Yes, God sees the hidden work and it is fruitful.  I need to remember this.

ETA: I got mine for a buck - who knew it would be worth $10+.  If you plan to use it faithfully it is probably worth it.  It isn't dated just Sunday through Saturday for four weeks.

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Wednesday with Words: Prayer and Oswald Chambers

I am continuing my obsession with Oswald Chambers.  I have now read three of his books (they are short - well the ones I read).  He cuts to the heart of the matter and doesn't back down.  I finished If Ye Shall Ask . . . about prayer this weekend.  He talks about Jesus in the Garden praying - appropriate for this week.  He focuses on the great cost it is to Jesus for us to come before the King and Jesus' words to the disciples to "watch and pray".  His thoughts are timely:

 Man, I wish I understood this more when I was younger.  I still believed that I needed to do the work and prayer was secondary.  Chamber's emphasizes the point that prayer IS the work.  What if I had spent all that time watching and praying for my kids instead of running from event to event?  What if I had understood that this was a "watch and pray" season instead of a 'Go' and 'Do'.  Chamber's is not arguing that he never says 'Go' but rather that we often do the active without doing the prayerful.

Waiting, patience, standing under.  All of these things sound difficult.  That is why we need God to do them.  We need persevere and not faint (he jokes that fainting is easy for the person who does it - everyone else is all upset and concerned).  

Tell us what you really think?!   YIKES!!  In the end it is often true that worry is because it is going a way I don't want or don't understand instead of trusting that God is in control of EVERYTHING and he says that things will work to the good.  Do I live like I believe that?

There it is is.  Pride and personal ambition.  I truly don't want God's answer or even really His help.  I can do it, thank you very much.  I am certainly at the place now where it is pretty evident I cannot do it.  I need to stop being "too busy" and intercede in the areas he has given me insight into.  I tried to "Do" first and to little avail - lots of hard knocks and missteps.

If your child are little I encourage you to "watch and pray" and not feel the need to "go" and "do" all the time.  Man, I feel into that trap and am reaping some of the not so beautiful rewards of that.  The season will come but if prayer is the work that is something you can do wherever you are.

I pray you have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!

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Wednesday with Words: Sermon on the Mount

A few weeks ago I realized that Oswald Chambers wrote more than My Utmost for His Highest.  I probably should have guessed that. I decided to look into one entitled Studies on the Sermon on the Mount. The source text is obviously incredible; however, Oswald's thoughts are to the point.  At less than 100 pages (and super big print) it is short but deep.  It was difficult to just pick a few quotes but here are a few of my favorites.

In keeping with what I am learning/ remembering from studying Charlotte Mason

The Holy Ghost is the only expounder of the teachings of Jesus.  

One of his primary contentions is that the whole Sermon is not understandable, or attainable, without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  In the natural man it produces despair.  Oswald asserts that

The Sermon on the Mount is a statement of the life we will live when the Holy Spirit is having His way with us.  

This is not something we "try harder" to accomplish - it is a gift given and we work it out in our daily lives.  As he explains

but as you go on storing your mind with Bible knowledge, the Holy Spirit will bring back to your conscious mind the word you need and apply it to your particular circumstances.  These three things always work together - my moral intelligence, the spontaneous originality of the Holy Spirit, and the setting of a life lived in communion with God. 

Really, this is what CM discusses and calls us to remember as we teach our children.  The Holy Spirit should be their teacher and we should provide them with the Word.

Oswald goes through the text verse by verse.  Many of the thoughts in Utmost are in here as well - as you can imagine. Here are the two issues that struck me most

Ouch!  I don't intercede - I try to correct and often criticize.  He introduces this concept in the context of "judge not, lest ye be judged".  His thoughts are clear

A critical temper is a contradiction to all Our Lord's teaching. 

Oswald talks continually about how the life of faith is a life of obedience.  Is that what I am living out?

The second point starts with this thought:

Over and over again we blame God for His neglect of people by our sympathy with them, we may not put it into words but by our attitude we imply that we are filling up what God has forgotten to do. Never have that idea, never allow it to come into your mind. 

We try to do for them, take care of them, fill in.  Oswald continues:

Yes, if I would be faithful and disciplined in what I know, things would be different.  Not that it depends on me, but that God can work through me if I am doing what he has called me to do. I will be reading the sermon and this devotional for it again and again and again.  Letting it soak into me.

A few years ago we attempted to memorize it (at the time my oldest was probably 5 - yes, I am that crazy mom).  I used Ann Voskamp's guide and although I don't know it word for word (I eventually realized this wasn't happening as a group and I gave up) I do remember it's general outline.

I highly recommend this deep reading.  I had about 15 more quotes I wanted to share but these were the most impactful to me.

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Wednesday with Words: Sowing and Reaping

I have read My Utmost for His Highest off and on for about 20 years.  Right after college I was a faithful reader, then life, but I am back again.  His devotionals challenge me every time (his biography is fascinating as well).  He packs so much into a small page.  I was reviewing the most recent ones and found March 11th about Heavenly Vision.  I am a big picture, vision type person.  I am constantly imagining what could be.  Some of his comments made me stop to think.

Wait! I don't get this.  There is a whole industry based on accomplishing your vision - charts, checklists, statements, values, etc.  Shouldn't I be working towards it? Chambers further explains,

At the beginning we saw it, but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled we did not see it.  Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God.  It is at the peril of our soul's welfare that we get caught up in the practical work and miss the fulfillment of the vision.  (emphasis my own)

You see - if it is God's work he will complete it.  He is the author and perfecter.  I have believed that it is my role to "do something".  Often, the time hadn't come yet, there was nothing to do but wait and pray (which seems totally impractical).  Oh, if only I had prayed more, been still, enjoyed the place where I was and allowed God to do His work in me and others instead of rushing ahead trying to make things happen on my own.   In the midst of my "practicality" I missed His pieces of the vision.  The little things I didn't have time for were the most important things I could have done.  I was inspired by the wrong things!  This makes me think of Joseph - he knew the vision and could do nothing to bring it about - NOTHING!  In fact, for 20 years it looked like he was heading the wrong direction. All he could do was be faithful to the tasks he was given.  Am I willing to do that?

Oswald recommends

Let God fling you out, and do not go until he does.  

Shouldn't I be the captain of my own destiny, the planner of my own future, the one in charge around here?  We just finished listening to The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate.  At one point I would have cheered on the message and now I stop to pause and think and wonder how much we want to do it our way, on our terms, for our glory (or at least comfort).  Is it wrong to encourage and equip a young girl to raise a family?  Do we grow dissatisfaction in our own hearts (and theirs) by teaching them that we (or they) should fulfill all of their dreams on their terms?  Chambers reminds us

Can you wait for His vision?  Are you willing to be flung out and sown wherever he wants you to be? Do you focus on the practical work and forget to walk in the light of inspiration?   Do you miss the vision in the midst of your busy-ness?  Are you more interested in commanding your own empty pod than being sown by him and fruitful in the right season?

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