Sunday, December 10, 2017

Family PACE: Activities

I thought I could squish activities and academics together - but I can't.  I know, it feels like I am delaying on the "main thing" - academics.  However, your home atmosphere and activities provide a rich education and we often forget or downplay their role.

Activities can include hobbies, athletics, arts, music, dance, drama, etc.  Many of these things were part of a school curricula years ago but are no longer included.  Often, because they aren't a core function of the school we believe they are less important - but they are not.  For some children they will become their life focus, while others will always enjoy them as a hobby.  Helping your child find meaningful activities plays a crucial role in their development and social realm.   The role of these activities and their connection to the school change as students move from elementary school into middle and high school.  Today we will consider activities for your elementary aged student.

Typical we choose activities for one of two reasons:

1.  They develop a skill we want our children to have, enjoy and potentially master.  Any word that you can add the suffix -ing to is a skill.  Swimming, running, drawing, writing, acting, etc.  Skills need clear instruction, fun, time and practice to develop. 

2.  They provide a type of relationship - mentor/coach, group or team - that we want our child to grow from experiencing.

Crucially, they often help develop character.  Many of these experiences teach diligence, patience, perseverance, teamwork, how to win, how to lose, how to fail and more.  These lessons are often better taught through activities than their academic courses! 

Elementary Aged Children

Look at the picture of your child that you drew a few weeks ago.  What skills did you want them to develop?  What relationships did you want them to be involved in?  When is the child developmentally ready to learn this skill?  There is something to be said for exposure - but that doesn't always mean a 45 minute class.  For elementary aged kids exposure can look like:

   - listening to classical music in the car or getting a CD that talks about the life of a composer with some of his great works

   - drawing together from an art book a few times a week or trying different mediums (clay, paint, etc.)

   - playing catch or shooting baskets at your house (here is an article about the average age most kids can really feel successful in team sports)

   - letting a parent or friend share a hobby with a child - music, art, sewing, etc.

   - serving together at a local nursing home, food bank or other place

   - looking at famous pieces of art together and talking about them - even just 10 minutes a week

   - taking a nature walk and learning more about what you see. 

   - choosing fiction and non-fiction (science, history, math) books to read aloud or listen to as a family

You can't do it all - if you have practice 4 nights a week it will be difficult to have a regular family dinner.  What is more important at this age?  Look at that top priority.  Are your activities contributing to that?  How many activities are reasonable to include in your schedule?  In our attempt at exposure beware of over scheduling.  Children need creative play, without adult direction, to help them learn more about themselves and relationships with others.  If they are in school 7 to 8 hours a day - they have already had quite a bit of structured time in their day.  Reading, day dreaming, messing around with art supplies, making up silly games, building forts and being "bored" are legitimate activities for an elementary aged student.  Can you create a home atmosphere that encourages enough exposure for the age and skill level for your children?  Is it possible that the school you choose covers some of these areas for you? 

Once you've determined activities that do require outside coaching and support there are three main issues that pop up:

1.  Cost - Can you truly afford this?  Is this the time (season of life or developmental stage of your child) to invest in this skill to bring the growth that you want?  Will your child successfully learn from a mentor/ coach or team situation? Is this a long term investment or just a passing interest? 

2. Time - What could your child be doing instead of this activity?  How much time should your child invest in this activity?  Is this a life long skill or just a passion for a little while?   Is your child developmentally ready to participate well in this activity?  Is there time in the schedule (homework, chores, other commitments) to do this activity well? 

3.  Distance - Often the activity might last 45 minutes, but with traffic it becomes an hour and half of your evening (at least in a big city).   There are ways to redeem time in the car (conversation, what you listen to - music, stories or podcasts, who is in the car with you, etc.) but you might need to be intentional about that time.  How far are you willing to drive?  Will you do this over the long term or for a season?  Should you pick something more convenient to home (or work) even if it isn't as "high quality" as another place?

Hopefully, from your PURPOSE and PRIORITY you had an idea of the type of activities you want your child involved in to help them develop more fully.  You are now considering ways your home atmosphere can expose them to these areas.  If you want to take it to the next level you need to consider the cost, time and distance to gauge if this particular activity is a good fit for your family. 

There are a few different ways that people work around these issues in the elementary years:

1.  Everybody does the same thing.  The family picks an activity and EVERYBODY does it (swimming, tae kwon do, piano lessons, etc.).

2.  Just pick one.  Some families only allow their child to pick one activity a season (or semester).  That way the student is pursuing their interest but it isn't overwhelming the schedule.

3.  Wait.  Some families choose to wait until children are older (3rd grade or above) to involve them in outside activities.  They feel that they can meet most of the needs for their young child's exposure at home.

4.  Wear them Out.  Others decide that the want to keep their child as active as possible with as many choices as possible and that is their priority.  They try many things at once and see what the child enjoys.  

5.  Trade.  Other families find friends who have talents they don't have and trade.  I'll teach your child beginning piano if you can teach mine the fundamentals of basketball. 

Be creative about exposure and relationship building during these younger years.  You want to make sure your child has time to rest, relax and recharge, but also enjoys different activities to get a sense of their own interests and abilities.  We don't want kids to be worn out by the time they reach 10 years old.  We also only have a short season to develop what "home" means to them.  Be thoughtful about how you spend these first 10 or 11 years with your children.  In the middle of it, it can seem like FOREVER, but honestly, it passes quickly.  What activities will they grow from and develop life long lessons, skills and relationships through?  Invest in that!

Next time we will discuss activities in middle and high school.  








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